Parents' Forum

Parents’ Forum discussion on bullying 15/10/2009

Last night the Institute of Ideas Parents’ forum discussed bullying. As usual the discussion covered many things, and as always was able to really understand some of the nuances that the issue throws up.

I am just going to look at a one of the interesting threads that came up-what is happening in the school playground. One of the points that was raised was that there seems to be an expectation for children to behave in a better way than we expect from adults. At one of the member’s child’s school the policy was to make the playground “pain-free”. How this translated itself into practice was that the children are now divided into friendship groups imposed by the teacher, and they have to play in these friendship groups at playtime.

A primary school teacher described how now children have no room to be on their own, or do their own thing. The dinner ladies now are trained to be playtime mentors; the Year 5 and Year 6 children are asked to be learning mentors of younger children in the playground and they are sorted into friendship groups. Children are being constantly watched, monitored and closely supervised in what used to be their free playground time.

There does appear to be a real fear of letting children have space to be themselves, of children being out of control if not constantly marshalled, and a belief that children can’t sort things out for themselves and adults shouldn’t let them.

However, as one of the group said, no matter how much adults intervene, children will find ways of circumventing this. If forced to play fairies in a “friendship group” the children will designate the child they don’t like as the wicked witch!

I sent my two kids to school today, but I ended up getting a call from the school to pick them both up. No sooner had I picked my youngest up, I had to go back to pick the other one up as well.  OK they did both have coughs but they weren’t really sick. 

I was told that my youngest had a temperature and the oldest had a rash that needed to be reviewed by the doctor.  I did my youngest’s temperature before school and after they sent her home and it was 37 degrees. I don’t think that constitutes hot.  My oldest had been scratching her face (hence the rash) and was hoping to come home because lots of other kids get sent home in her class.  In fact when I picked up my eldest there were two other kids waiting for their parents to arrive.

Apart from one of my children needing to go to hospital to have a bead removed from her ear (a childhood experiment gone wrong) my kids only sick days are when the school tends to send them home.  I think schools are creating a culture around kids where they know that if they cough loud enough they will be sent home.  I think the schools should be a little more matronly about children and illness.  Most kids enjoy a sickie and thats not in the kids or the parents interest to entertain.